It Started With a Chair.

This week baby Jayda had a fever and although we had to stay home, indoors, longer than Kallie or I would have liked, she was extra cuddly and sweet (and slept even better than usual). A couple months ago I realized I hadn't been cuddling with Jayda as much as I would have liked and I began to worry she didn't feel loved enough. I figured out why I was felt this way:

1) She's not my only child and I'm always chasing after her toddler sister.

2) It took me until Jayda was 5 months old to realize I hadn't moved the rocking chair from Kallie's room into her room. *slap myself on the forehead*

Since Jayda has been sleeping through the night for awhile now, I've started rocking her to sleep sometimes (Up until my babies are sleeping through the night I don't rock them to sleep because I don't want them to need me to fall asleep. I think rocking is wonderful as long as they're still awake when I physically lay them down in the crib so they learn how to fall asleep on their own. However I do want them to be familiar with falling asleep on me). Plus there's an obvious fact that rocking a baby to sleep is pure bliss! Last night Brad was at the church for Scouts during the kids' bedtime so I put Kallie down and then had some one-on-one HEAVENLY cuddle time with Jayda in the rocking chair. I would have loved to stay there all night. Even though our old, hand-me-down rocking chair could use a little WD-40, it makes a rhythm that is quite hypnotizing and Jayda was lulled to sleep pretty quickly.

As we rocked back and forth I looked around her dark room, lit by the hallway light seeping through the door frame. My biggest fear when I was younger, was that I wouldn't be able to experience having my own children. Now I've grown two babies inside me. Cuddling my baby in a rocking chair is seriously a slice of heaven on earth. I can't believe I'm blessed to provide for this precious little angel that can't do anything for herself. She feels completely secure sleeping in my arms while feeling clean, dry, full and loved. I couldn't help but cry. Because I'm so blessed. I can't rock my babies without crying. If we're at home during the day and I decide to turn on some music and dance with my kids, I cry because they're so stinking adorable. Their smiles make my heart flutter. It's crazy.

My mom always told me that she knew I was going to be her last child so, as she nursed me in her rocking chair she paid special attention to the feel, sight, sounds and smell because she wanted to remember them forever. I've actually caught myself thinking, "We'll have three or four more kids so I have plenty of time to enjoy babyhood," as I rush my child-tending because there are other things to get done. I have to remind myself that I don't know what our future holds and I can never really know which child will be our last so savor every. precious. moment. with every. single. child. I'm gonna be one of those total basket case moms when my last child passes every milestone. Ah, I love being a mama. It is awesome.